The Second Working Day Of The Year

My first working day ended me up hooked with the net.  I surfed the net to my heart’s content.  I did not even bother to think of the workload ahead of me.  I am totally disappointed.  My disappointment reached further heights when I chatted with some of my former colleagues.  Asking me how am I doing.  But of course I wouldn’t hesitate to give a definite answer.  I would not let them know that everything is not coming up roses.

Today, is the second working day of the year.  I have decided to go to work.  Had not my promo merchandiser texted me asking for an excuse letter so that he can be back for work.  I doubt if I have the reason to go to work.

It is nearly  eight o clock in the morning.  Time to go and dress up.  Later or tomorrow I shall continue chronicling the events as it unfold everyday.

First Working Day 2010

We Filipinos believe in “lihi”.  I do not know what is the equivalent of it in English.  But it means to do something good in the beginning so that succeeding days will be good also.

Thus, we have lots of superstitions related to this.  We have plenty of things to do during New Year’s Eve and the first of day of the year.  Today, I would like to start my first working day with the vivacity that no one has ever seen from.  To day, I would like to start with the most professional and most dynamic me that one ever experience.

However, I have spent lots of energy trying to get that feel.  Yet, I don’t have the power to work.  I am disappointed.  I am hurting.  I am mad as hell.

Luckily, I don’t believe in “lihi”.  I will just spend the rest of the day trying to get back that feel.

Sleepless in Davao City With Ricky (by Bobo Ang)

Babala:  Kathang isip lang po ito at hindi ito halaw sa tunay na pangyayari.  Ano man ang pagkakahalintulad sa totoong buhay ay pawang produkto lamang ng malikot na imahinasyon ng may akda.  Hindi po sinasadya.  PEACE MAN.
   
Heavy rain was pouring outside as I stood by the window.  I was alone and tried so hard to sleep but I could not.  I browse over my bookshelves and looked for something very interesting to read but none captured my interest, no matter how beautiful the covers of the book.

   “Boss may nag text sa iyo sagutin mo naman kanina pa ako sigaw ng sigaw dito pagod na ako. Boss may nag text sa iyo sagutin mo naman kanina pa ako sigaw ng sigaw dito pagod na ako” I was astounded by this voice.  It was my cellphone alarming me to check my inbox.  I grapled and and saw the name of the sender.  It was Ricky.  I wonder what is it this time.  It is nearly midnight.  I released a deep sigh and read the message.

   As soon as I finished reading the message, I grabbed my car key and drove to meet Ricky.  The heavy rain had already stopped when I arrived at the meeting place.  I went straight to the usual table we occupied and found he was already there.  Judging from the  empty cans of beer, I knew it easily that this meeting would take longer.  I grabbed a chair in front of him and took one unopend beer in can and lifted the lid and slid down one half of its content in my throat down to my belly. 

  “What’s up, insomia again?” I asked him.
  “The usual mind is wandering depriving me of the needed rest.” he replied.
  “Duh and what do you want me to do?” play governess again and assist you consuming all the beer in the world.
  “I am sorry.”
   “If  sorry is enough then why do we need laws and why do we need the police.”
   “Bobo Ang quotation again.”
   “Yep lifted from a Korean novela To Marry A Millionaire. “
   “Hehehehe you know what is my problem really?”
   “Mind telling me?”
   “Need to down more beers but it seems liquour ban is in effect, know where to find more?”
   “You really know to whom to solicit resolution in this kind of situation.”
   “I know no one else can.”
   “Okay, I will give you this as your guide.”  I handed him a piece of paper for him to read.  It goes like this;

   Where To Buy Beer When It’s Two A.M. in Davao City.
 
   1.  My frequent drinking spree with the boys, allowed me to discover that there are plenty of sari sari stores in Matina that still sell alcohol and beer beyond curfew hours. Go there.
   2.  Because of my exposure in bar hopping, I knew plenty of waiters, waittresses, baristas, etc.  Thus, learn to appreciate their existence of these people.  You will never know how they can help when you want to be drunk.
   3.  Be friendly with your neighborhood stores.  You can knock and ask for beer in a very unholy hour and they still can afford to give you more than your dosage of beer.
  4.  Develop the habit of finding something or looking into something which is very obvious but people will not look into it.  Try the stores near funeral parlor, they can served you until your last breath.  Angel Funeral Parlor is one good place.  Hahahahahahaha.
  5.  Always develop a habit of the sultan.  Always with an alipin by his side.  Make him run to find beers.  Chances are he has plenty in his domain.  He doesn’t want to run so stock and lock is his dogma.
  6. Go find a girl bring her to Queensland, Quality Inn, Annex, or any fancy hotel you like.  They have beer for you to indulge.  And, maybe you can ask the girl to sit on the bottle.  Hehehehehehehehhehe e.
  
   I did not waitfor him to finish what he was reading.  I begged to go home pleading work for tomorrow.  He agreed and I left.  The truth is I still wanted to drink with him.  But, I was afraid, knowing how the mind of engineers worked.  He will follow instructions down to the last detail.  I could not bear in my mind what is contained in number six.  By the time, we surveyed numbers one to five, I do not know whether he would get a girl or will I be mistaken for a girl

A Man’s Promise

It is said that a man’s promise is worth remembering because he does not make it often and casually.  So,when a man makes a promise he will fulfill it.  This attitude maybe stems from the fact that man is really non-committal.  He does not want to engage in something that he does not want to fulfill or he does not have the courage to attend and fullfill it.  Thus, when he makes a promis better prepare for a showdown.

Even then, there are plenty of men who make promises but did not fulfill it.  Many female hopes and dreams were shattered believing his promises.  Plenty of lives were destroyed because of his promises.  And one wonders why is this so.

I believe the reason is that men, generally makes promises that are difficult to fulfill in the first place.  Take for example, during courtship man promise to fully gives his heart to the one he loves.  Yet, he easily avails himself to distractions and temptations.  He promise the moon and the stars, yet he cannot give his heart wholeheartedly.  He promise undivided attention, yet he does not want to be distracted from his routine.

Think of the politicos promise of better living condition for his constituents, yet they robbed them of their dignity.  Think of the vows they made, but they do not remain monogamous.  Think of of the promise of a better life, yet you see sadness in the eyes of their love ones.  Think of the promise of being there, yet some lives are still alone and lonely. 

Now do men really makes promises or are they just making action plans which will either be not implemented or defferred or are they just making predictions.  It doesn’t make sense why make promises when it cannot be fulfilled.  Why not act instead of promising?

Ang Pari At Ang Parrot (Part 6)

Isa si Padre Juan sa mga pinaka – abal;ang sa tao sa bayan.  Dahil sa marami siyang pinagkakaabalahan nakalimutan na niya ang mga masalimuot na mga pangyayari sa pagitan nila ng parrot.  Kulang sa pahinga si Padre Juan sa maraming pinagkakaabalahan.  Isa na rito ang siya ay tawagin upang mag alay ng dasal sa mga malapit nang mamatay.

Isang araw, naglalakad si Padre Juan at ang kanyang sakristan papunta sa kabilang ibayo upang mag bigay ng dasal sa isang parokyano.  Dumaan sila sa may batis kung saan iyon ang pinakamapalapit na daan patungo sa kabilang ibayo.  Habang sila ay naglalakad naging malikot ang paningin ng sakristan sa mga babae na naglalaba o naliligo.

“Padre, maraming babae naliligo” natutuwang sabi ni sakristan.

“Huwag anak magagalit ang Diyos!” sagot ni Padre Juan

“Pero Father Juan ang seksi talaga nila!”

“Huwag talaga anak talagang magagalit ang Diyos!”

“Naku Father! Naghubad na ng damit ang isang babae.  Tignan mo!

“Huwag anak magagalit ang Diyos!”

“Hala Father! Hinubad na niya ang kanyang bra!”

Huwag naman anak magagalit ang Diyos!”

“Wow Father! Hinubad na niya ang kanyang panty!”

“Huwag! Anak! Magagalit ang akin!!!!!

Mindanao Diaries (Part 3)

Driving your way in Mindanao is not always fun.  Though, there are lots of panoramic scenes to view, majestic landscapes, windy beaches among others.  It is betrayed with the drivers that you meet along the way.  I have come to a conclusion that Mindanao is a melting pot of all bad drivers.  The most rude, the most undisciplined, and the most ignorant drivers are all found in Mindanao.

The three traits I mentioned is not independent from each other.  The three are commonly found in most drivers in Mindanao.  When one is ignorant, he is rude and undisciplined.  Where else can you find drivers who overtake in a blind curve and have the temerity to scold you when he find himself in a near accident situation.  Yes, this is common when you travel to CDO traversing the Buda Road.  There were plenty of instances where I encountered this type of driver.  The sad part is that most of these drivers are driving private cars.  I presumed that private owners are more intelligent, more courteous, and more disciplined that those driving a utility vehicle.  Apparently, I was wrong.

Wherecan you find drivers who turn off their lights at night while driving and turn it on instantly when you can nearly hit them while you overtake a slowmoving vehicle?  I have not traveled to Dipolog during night time since 2006.  I was really mad as hell the first time I encountered this motorcycle drivers you encounter while going to Dipolog City.  I nearly hit three of these because I did not see them farther from me while I was overtaking a ten wheeler truck.  Lucky for me when I slammed on my brakes when I saw the motorcycle lights turned on instantly, there was no car behind me.  The funny thing about these drivers is during day time, the lights are on.  Are they kidding me?

Where else can you find a driver who thought that he is the king of the road?  In Surigao City, the tricycle drivers rule the road.  They feel that they are driving the most beautiful vehicle, the biggest vehicle, and the grandest of all vehicle.  It is only a tricycle.  Yet, they manuever their rides unmindful of the narrowest roads, thinking that they are the only ones who are driving in the city, pretending that there are no people crossing the streets.  Yes, while in Surigao, avoid the tricycle drivers, they don’t care less.  Even private vehicles avoid them.  The trick here is an ounce of prevention, when you are hit by them lucky for you if you get paid for the damages. 

Where else can you find drivers who do not know how to read traffic signs?  Try Cagayan de Oro City.  One wonders if the traffic signs are there for the benefit of the motorists and pedestrians?  Or is it just another money making scheme of some persons concerned.  Almost, anywhere in CDO you see vehicles parked in a no parking area.  Drivers violating traffic signs even if a traffic officer is in sight to apprehend them. 

When these types of drivers rule the road, no wonder accidents do happen every day by the hour.

Truth or Dare With Coke

I was in my fifth grade in my grade school days when I first played this fun game.  It was introduced to us by a classmate who was two years older than we were, but because he stopped schooling, he ended up two grades late.  He was supposed to be a high school student at that time. 

We were sprawling in the open field in our school.  It was time to go home, but we did not yet traced our steps back to our houses.  Instead, my classmates and myself just laid down on the bed of grass, and watched the blue sky above us.   Eric (the one who was two years older from us) stood up and suggested that we played a game that he learned from his older brother.

Excitement was drawn among us.  There were ten of us and an even distribution of gender lying in the grass .  All immediately stood up and started to asked Eric what is the game all about.  He turned about face and told us to wait for him.  It wont take him long.  Seconds later, he came back and he carried an eight ounce bottle of Coke. 

He immediately started to explained the procedure of the game.  Until, we graduated from our grade school year, Truth or Dare with Coke has become our favorite game before we trekked back to or houses after school. 

When I was in high school, there were times that I played the game with my friends still using the Coke bottle as our props.  When I was in college, still the Coke bottle was used in this game.  Now, how did I realized this?

It was only recently that I watched a Korean novela when this thing popped out of mind.  There was a scene, where the nearly ill fated lovers, together with their unsuspecting new partners, played Truth or Dare.  Lo! I immediately recognized the bottle.  It was a Coke.

Then, memories started to flash in my mind about my encounters with the game.  Then, I concluded how come that it was always a bottle of Coke.  I saw many movie scenes and TV scenes too used Coke bottle as props for the Truth or Dare Game.

It made me wonder.  What is with Coke bottle that it is the usual props for this game.  Is it the shape of the bottle, not only you can spin it easily but of course rolls and moves out to other direction?  Or is it not that Coke is a bestselling softdrink and that its bottle are immediately found in most houses?  Or is that figure of the bottle that its mouth serves as an arrow that points to the person who will be engaged in the game. 

Why Coke not Pepsi?  The only time I saw this game played different props is in the movie Truth or Dare In Bed with Madonna.  The movie lead used Evian bottle as the props, since it was not a Coke bottle, maybe Madonna did not find it sacreligious to used the Evian bottle as more than a props for the game. 

She went further.  She used it as meat substitute to simulate oral sex.  Can I do that with Coke bottle?

Ang Pari At Ang Parrot (Part 5)

Dalawang taon na ang nakalipas nang magdesisyon si Sister Maria na pumasok sa kumbento upang maging madre.  Wala naman talagang siyang pangarap na maging alagad ng Panginoon.  Ngunit dahils sa isang karamdaman na walang lunas, napagpasiyahan niya na subukan ang isang mungkahi ng isang kaibigan na subukan ang buhay ng madre.  Aniya ng kaibigan maaring ito na lamang ang tanging lunas sa kanyang karamdaman.

Nagtagumpay naman si Sister Maria sa kanyang hangarin na mabigyan ng lunas ang kanyang karamdaman.  Sa loob ng dalawang taon na inilagi niya sa kumbento na puno ng pagdadasal at pag sisilbi sa Diyos, talagang hindi na siya nakakaramdam ng mga hirap dulot ng kanyang walang lunas na karamdaman.

 

Subalit, isang araw biglang nabahala si Sister Maria.  Muling bumalik ang kanyang karamdaman.  Umiinit na naman ang kanyang katawan tipong may hinihanap siya na maaring pangtapal.  Ang problema niya maaring nga meron, ngunit hindi niya matatagpuan ito sa loob ng kumbento.  Maliban na lamang kung sa mga araw na me duty ang mga hardinero at karpentiro sa loob ng kumbento.

Talagang hindi na niya matiis ang pag iinit ng kanyang katawan.  Minabuti niyang hanapin si Mother Superior upang isangguni ang kanyang problema.  Natagpuan niya ang kanyang hinahanap aktong papasok pa ito sa loob ng kapilya.  “Mother! Mother Superior!  maari po ba kayong makausap kahit sandali lamang.  Importante lang po talaga.  May isasangguni lang po ako sa iyo” pakiusap ng mas nakakabatang madre.

“Ano iyan iyon sister Maria?  Halika umupo tayo dito sa may bench.”  sagot sa kanya ng Mother Superior.

“Meron po kasi akong i confess sa inyo Mother.”

“Ano iyon iha?”

“Kasi po ang totoo ay wala naman po talaga akong calling para maging madre.  Pumasok lang po ako sa kumbento upang mabigyan ng pansamantalang lunas ang aking karamdaman.”

“Ano ba ang iyong problema?”

“Me sakit ho ako nymphomania.  Matagal na po ito.  Ito ang dahilan kaya nag madre ako.  Sa awa ng Diyos, hindi po ako inaatake sa tawag laman at kamunduhan sa loob ng dalawang taon na pamamalagi ko rito.  ngunit, ngayon Mother superior, tulungan niyo po ako”.  Nag sisimula na namang uminit ang aking katawan ano po ang aking gagawin?  Kasalanan po saDiyos ang pangsamantalang lunas dito.  Ayoko pong magkasala sa kanya”"

“Hay naku iha”  Madali lang iyan.  Bumalik ka doon sa kuwarto mo at maghubad ka, humrap ka sa salamin tumayo at mag posing na aktong me babarilin ka at sumigaw ka ng BANG!”

Hindi na sinagot at nagpasalamat si Sister Maria kay Mother Superior.  Mabilis itong tumakbo pabalik sa kuwarto niya at dali daling sinunod ang mungkahi ng Mother Superior.

“Totoo pala ang sinabi ni Monther!” bigkas niya sa sarili.

Bawat atake ng kanyang pagka manyak ay ganoon nga ang ginagawa ni sister Maria.  Ngunit, kagaya ng mga ordinaryong gamot nagkakaroon din ito ng tolerance level.  Ang sagot ni Mother Superior ay sa bawat pag increase ng tolerance level dapat increase the dosage.  Iyon nga ang ginawa ni Sister Maria.  Pataas ng pataas ang dosage.

Hanggang naka anim na BANG siya di na maibsan ang kanyang nararamdaman.  Muli hinanap na naman niya si Mother Superior upang humingi ng tulong.  Subalit, naikot na niya ang buong kapaligiran ng kumbento pati na ang mga kasulok sulokan nito hindi niya natagpuan ang kanyang Mother Superior.

Napag pasiyahan niya na puntahan si Mother Superior sa kanyang kuwarto.  Alam niyang bawal ito ngunit kailangan niyang gawin dahil nanghihina na siya sa epekto ng kanyang karamdaman.

Dahan dahan binuksan niya ang pintuan ng kuwarto ni Mother Superior.  Laking pagkagulat niya sa kaniyang nasaksihan.  Si Mother Superior, nakahubad, nakaharap sa salamin, at naka posing na aktong may babarilin at sumisigaw ng RAT TAT TAT TA TAT RAT TAT TAT TA TAT

Ang Pari at Ang Parrot (Part 4)

Kung naging masalimuot ang mga pangyayari sa pagitan ng pari at ang parrot.  Samantala, tunghayan natin ang mga pangyayari matapos umalis si Sister Maria sa seminaryo dahil sa matinding kahihiyang inabot niya dahil sa parrot.

Sumakay ng bus ang madre pabalik sa kumbento.  Nakatabi niya isang preskong lalaki.  Dahil sa punuan ang bus, walang magawa si Sister Maria kung hindi ang pagtiisan na lamang ang kapreskuhan ng lalaki.  Sinulyapan ng mabilis ni Sister Maria ang lalake ngunit nagtama ang kanilang paninat kinindatan siya nito.  Namula ang madre, at umusog sa may aisle ng konti dahil sa nagtama na ang kanilang mga braso.  Ngunit, umusog din ang lalaki ng konti at muling nagtama ang kanilang mga braso at inilapit ng lalaki ang kanyang ulo na halos dinig na ni Sister Maria ang tunog ng hininga ng lalaki.  Maya-maya bumulong ang lalaki sa kanya  “Sex tayo.”

Naeskandalo si Sister Maria at dali daling pinara ang bus at mabilis na bumaba.  Naglakad ng mabilis ang mga madre sa pag aakalang susundan siya ng lalaki.  Ngunit, naiwan ang lalaki sa bus at lumapit ng upuan sa may likuran ng driver.  Nakipagkuwentohan sa kanya ang driver “Ano ang nangyari doon pare?”

” Binulungan ko na mag sex kami.  Ayun naeskandalo at bumaba.”

“Gusto mo ba talaga?  Me alam ako na paraan para maka niig mo ang magandang madre na iyan.”

“Papaano?”

“Ganito gawin mo.  Mamayang alas diyes ng gabi iyang madre na iyan ay mahilig magdasal doon sa rebulto na nakatindig sa likod ng kumbento.  Bago mag alas diyes, alisin mo ang rebulto at magbihis ka na kagaya ng nasa rebulto.  Tumayo ka sa kinatatayuan ng rebulto at ng mag umpisa na nng dasal ag madre saka mo siya yayain ng sex. “

“Papayag ba kaya iyon?”

“Siyempre! Maniniwala iyon na may isang himala na nangyari.  Eh di pagkakataon mo na.”

“Sige pare gagawin ko iyan.  Itabi mo na lang sa kanto bababa na ako.  Salamat ha.”

Kinagabihan, ginawa ng lalaki ang suhestiyon ng drayber. Masyadong madilim ang paligid kaya tuwang tuwa ang lalaki na talagang hindi siya makikilala ng madre.  Eksakto alas diyes dumating na ang madre at lumuhod sa kunwaring rebulto.  Sumitsit ang lalaking nagkunwaring rebulto.  “Psst!!! Pssst!

Tumingin ang madre sa rebulto kinindatan siya nito. Nagulat siya ng biglang nag salita ito sa kanya.  “Tara sister mag sex tayo.”

“Puede sa puwet na lang po.  Di ba ang mga alagad ng Diyos ay may vow of chastity so hindi po puede sa harapan, sa likuran na lang po.” sagot ng madre sa paanyaya ng lalaki.

“Hala tumuwad ka na!”  at ginawa nga ng lalaki ang panghahalay na matagal na niyang inaasam asam.  Medyo matagal din bago natapos ang lalaki.  Nang matapos na ang lalaki pinaharap niya ang madre at tinanggal niya ang kanyang costume at sumigaw.

“Hahahahahahaha!  Naisahan kita sister hindi naman ako ang santo.  Ako iyong katabi mo sa bus.”

Hinubad ng madre ang kanyang suot at tuwang tuwa na sinagot ang lalaki.

“Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Hindi rin ako ang totoong madre.  Ako iyong kausap mo na driver sa bus kanina.  Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Finding Bolitas With Rey by: Bobo Ang

“Sige idiin mo pa”  ungol ng babae kay Rey.  Magdadalawang oras na silang nagkaniig pero pakiramdam ni Rey ilang minuto lang pa lang ang lumipas.
   
        Sinalubong ng babae ang bawat indayog ng mga balakang.  Biglang natigilan si Rey “Huwag kang tumigil!!! Mabibitin ako!!! sigaw ng babae.  Binaybay ng dalawang daliri ni Rey ang puwerta ng kaligayahan ng babae.
 
        “Shit, nasaan na kaya iyon” bulong ni Rey sa sarili.  Ang tinutukoy niya ay ang apat na bolitas na naka nakabaon sa kahabaan ng kanyang pagkalalake.  Siguro sa tindi ng mga indayog ng kanilang mga balakang at ang matinding paggamit ng babae ng muscle control ay nakawala ito sa pinag singitan nito.  Kanyang pinasok ang kanyang dalawang daliri sa naglalaway na kuweba at ginagalugad ang kailaliman nito.  Ngunit, hindi niya makapa ang mga bolitas. 

       Dahil sa importante sa kanya ang mga bolitas, mas napagtuonan niya ng pansin ang paghahanap nito sa pamamagitan ng pagkalikot sa bukana ng kamunduhan habang nagdedeliryo ang babae sa sarap na nararamdaman.  Ipinasok na ni Rey ang buong kamay dahil kulang ang dalawang daliri sa paghahanap ng apat na bolitas.

      “Ahhh ang sarap, ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganito uri ng langit!!!.” pahalinghing na bigkas ng babae habang nakabaon ang mga kuko sa magkabilang gilid ng kama.

       Bigo pa rin si Rey na makapkap ang apat na bolitas, kaya minabuti na niyang gamitan ito ng isa pang kamay. “Diyos ko, mamatay na yata ako sa sarap shit!.  buong kaligayahang isinigaw ng babae. Gustuhin mang pumalakpak ni Rey sa matinding galak na kanyang nagawa, hindi niya magawa talagang masikip ang butas na pinagmulan ng buhay.

      Hindi pa rin nakapkap ng kanyang dalawang kamay ang mga bolitas.  Dahil dito, napagisipan niya na kailangan na ng kanyang dalawang mata ang paghahanap nito.  At ipinasok na niya ang kanyang ulo sa kuweba ng kamunduhan.

      “Hello!! Hello! Hello!! ang sigaw ni Rey sa loob.
 
      “Naririnig kita hindi mo kailangan bigkasin ng paulit paulit ang gusto mong sabihin.” inis na sagot ng babae.

      “Nag echo lang po hindi ko naman inuulit ulit.” tugon ni Rey at patuloy na paghalughug ng kanyang paningin sa kadiliman ng butas na iyon. 

      “Sige pa idiin mo pa, sarap talaga nitong ginawa mo Rey”  pagmamakaawang bigkas ng babae kay Rey.

      Ipinasok na ni Rey ang buong katawan sa biyak ng kaligayahan.  Humakbang siyang nakayuko at patuloy na hinihanap ang bolitas.  Nang i angat niya ang kanyang paniningin may nakita siyang maliit na liwanag.  Nilapitan niya ito at nakita niya ang isang matandang lalaki na may bitbit na sulo.

      “Hijo naligaw ka yata” tanong ng matanda sa kanya.

     “Oo nga lolo, hinahanap ko kasi ang apat na bolitas sa butas na ito” ang magalang na sagot ni Rey sa matanda.

      “Naku iho, hindi mo na makikita ang mga iyon.  Ako nga tumanda na sa kuweba na ito hindi ko pa rin mahanap ang nawawalang kalabaw ko.”