Top Reasons Why I Find It Hard To Finish 50 Shades of Grey

by:  Alden I. Bula

Usually, when someone recommends a book, I tend to finish it in one sitting.  And, generally, I always read books suggested by my friends.  However, this is not the case with 50 Shades of Grey, It took quite a while to finally succumb with the urge to read.  This first sentence from the book made me squirm “I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror. Damn my hair—it just won’t behave, and damn Katherine Kavanagh for being ill and subjecting me to this ordeal.”  I thought I was reading the usual romantic novels.  I thought that I would read a sentence describing a mirror in 40 words and describing the ordeal in 30 sentences.  With that, I have some clear ideas, that the book will be a long read despite the fact that my epub app told me that it is only more than 350 pages long. Apparently, I got distracted with several reasons.


  1. I found a Pretty Woman Scenario – the Cinderella plot might be tired idea, but still it makes some readers happy reading about it.  Personally, at this age, this tried and tested plot is not a good reading material.  One has to move on.
  2. The first person point of view – one of the things that I hate about this is that you do not have glimpses of the subconscious aspect of other characters.  Thus, if I am quite a bit lazy to contextualize each character, I find myself lost in translation. 
  3. The rich guy meet a normal girl formula – will somebody please recommend a book where both lead characters (male and female) are of equal footing in terms of wealth and experience.  For me this is basically a gender bias or prejudice on status.  We all know that natural selection process tend to sway on the good ones getting the good ones and it is a fluke of nature when the good ones are attracted to bad ones.  This is one reason why there are mutants genetically. 
  4. The helpless girl scenario – most romantic novels would characterize the male lead character as having tons of excess baggage.  This novel did the same but, nary a chapter described what the excesses all about.  But Ana, had to go through on the first few pages of the novel a drunkard situation just to meet the requirement that she had to be in his bed. 
  5. The control freak factor – while there are several novels which women were pictured as control freaks, novels portraying men as such tend to be more exciting.  There is that usual fixing a person tendency which many women find it more appealing rather than men fixing women.  I detest this plot. 
  6. Basically, it is a soft porn novel disguised as literature.  You do not have to write about perversion as our ordinary life is already an atlas of perversion moments.  It is quite ironic that at this time where women are emancipated, this novel became a bestseller. 
  7. Predicted ending – I knew that Anastasia will realized towards the end of the story that she was just a toy.  However, I was sad, that it took severe pain on her part to finally admit that she gets nothing from the relationship. 
  8. The book is actually all about Ten Commandments on relationship.  What are these?
    1. Rich guys are not good guys, they have lots of excess baggage.
    2. Good looks are traps to be beholden in a relationship.
    3. Money is waged when you want to control the relationship.
    4. At the end of the day mind will rule over the heart.
    5. However, it takes a lot of time to admit as such.
    6. Whether you like it or not, men take charge of the relationship.  Women follow because they choose to do so.
    7. At the end of the day, women are the cessation factor.  Men will opt to stay because the female population is a willing victim in a relationship.
    8. There will never be equality in terms of relationship it is either you give or you run away from it. 
  9. The book is basically an allegory on relationship.  This is one of the fundamental reasons why it took me so long to finish.  I find myself reflecting each time I’m done with every chapter of the book.
  10. Without the sex and S&M subplots, the book is actually boring, thus, I finished at after a week. 

Honestly, it was good read if only for the fact that it has lots of fucking scenes.  Without these, the book would only take ten pages.  The author was just lucky that she wrote it in this time where variety and diversity are the norms of the day.  Had it been written two centuries ago, it would have been a classic similar to what happened with D.H. Lawrence novel “Lady Chatterley’s Lover.”







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